A final girl, in case you didn’t know, is a popular horror trope. She’s the movie’s sole survivor, the last one standing to confront the killer, and the only one left to tell the story. A final girl is the character who lives in the end. Think Jaime Lee Curtis in Halloween. (We love her!) In horror movies, a final girl is female but for the purposes of this book, final girls can be anyone. As long as you have a will to make it to the end of your romantic journey, you, too, are a final girl.

In a world where ghosts and zombies have replaced the proverbial white knights of fairy tales past, today’s romantic prospects feel less like a nineties rom-com and more like a horror comedy. Even the words we use to talk about love are horrific: heartbroken, lovesick, strung along; or falling in love, ending it, love bombing, suffocating, ghosting—you get the idea. And sometimes the stakes feel like life or death. If you’ve ever felt the pain of rejection or the adrenaline that comes with watching those text bubbles as you wait for a response from the person you like, then you know that the pursuit of love is not for the faint of heart. And modern dating is a horror show! So, who better to help navigate readers through the pitfalls of “dicksand,” “bed death,” and the dreaded “ick” than a final girl? They have seen it (and survived it) all!

And so have I.

I’m Rory Uphold, a self-proclaimed final girl. I’m a resilient woman with a black belt in breakups, a PhD in rejection, and well over ten thousand hours clocked in the hellfire of digital dating. I’ve had my heart ripped out so many times, it’s honestly a medical miracle that it still beats. And I’ve seen more skeletons in closets than I’d care to admit, which makes me the perfect person to help others navigate the perilous and often ruthless landscape that is modern love. And while I’ve spent years immersed in this horrifying new world, I’m aware that not everyone is as familiar with terms like “flying monkeys” or “dickmatization.” So I created a funny and frightful roadmap through the horror show that is finding love in today’s bleak digital landscape.

This book is filled with cringe-worthy, jaw-dropping, never-before-shared stories about the many horrors I’ve encountered while single and coupled, as well as the survival skills I’ve cultivated as a final girl. (Obviously I’ve had plenty of great relationships too, but my “failures” offer more lessons.) Want to survive to see the end credits in a very difficult dating world? Yeah, me too! And somehow, after fourteen million first dates and a whole lot of monsters slaughtered, I’m still freaking alive—and falling deeper in love with myself. So learn from my mistakes.

This book is for the girl who still believes in love despite the many plot twists and jump scares that have been thrown her way. It’s told from my (mostly) straight perspective, so the stories will feature heteronormative relationships, but in no way does that mean this book isn’t inclusive of everyone.

My hope is for readers to use this book not only as a guide but as a companion to navigate their own romantic journeys. It’s the book I wish I’d read in my twenties to avoid a whole lot of heartache, dating mistakes, and one guy named Jack. But most importantly, this book is a love letter to myself. The one thing a final girl needs for surviving the third act is trust in herself. Without self-love, “happily ever after” does not exist, right?

So, welcome to hell, aka modern dating. Let’s survive together.

Excerpt from the book: Uphold, Rory. “The Final Girl’s Guide to the Horrors of Dating.” Rory Uphold, August 3, 2025. Books.
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